


Welcome to the Meme-quisition

by QueenofWitchBlood



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: ??? - Freeform, LMAO, Maybe - Freeform, Memes, Multi, Other, good luck losers, hooo boy, i am going to regret thise, i will be taking requests, like for memes and pairings if people want, lord rest my SOUL, reader insertish, the pairings will be named in the titles if that is the case, the rating may go up in later chapters if i decide to do more with this, welcome to the memequisition, you can all blame my friend for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-07-10
Packaged: 2018-06-03 11:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6608797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenofWitchBlood/pseuds/QueenofWitchBlood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a friend and i decided to meme in the inquisition<br/>this is the result</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Krem And The Punmeister3000

**Author's Note:**

> [SCREAMS] i'm going strAIGHT TO HELL  
> a friend of mine and i were talking about memes in da and  
> well  
> there is no chronological order. I will take requests for memes and pairings if people want [maybe even au things???? idk]  
> these will probably be short chapters  
> i apologise  
> I'm gonna try keep the memer as gender neutral as possible, unless people ask for something different
> 
> [all characters are portrayed 18+ and should the need arise, the rating for the story will change]

It started so subtly, that Krem hadn't even noticed at first.

The Chargers had been in the Inquisition's employment for nearly a year. They'd all settled in nicely, done some good work for the Inquisitor, got paid pretty regularly and didn't have to move constantly from place to place anymore. The Iron Bull seemed content and the rest of their rag-tag group seemed to enjoy the more mellow aspects of being in Inquisition employ. Nothing too strange happened while they worked, and Krem had no problems with any of the others working for the Inquisitor-

"Ayyyyyyy, Krem!"

He spoke too soon.

With a sigh, Krem turned away from the practice dummy to face the person who had interrupted his training. They stood behind him, a wide grin on their face as they leaned casually against a nearby fence post. No one knew where they'd come from, though they'd been here for only 3 months, and already Krem's nerves were becoming frayed by them. "Can I help you, Quinn?"

"You most certainly can, my buddy, my pal, friend, dude, guy." They said rather easily, crossing their arms over their chest. Krem's brows furrowed at the unnecessary number of names, but shrugged it off, setting his training sword and shield aside, coming over to them.

"Yes?" He asked, frowning down at the shorter person before him. He didn't know why they irritated him so, but there was just something off about them. He'd first noticed it when they were introduced to one another by the Bull. Of course, he had tried to shake it off, but it was starting to bother him more and more lately. Perhaps Krem was just imagining it, having spent so much time around their Chief, but he could swear that whenever they spoke, Quinn used-

"See, I was wondering if you'd like to have some lunch with me. I managed to convince the kitchen staff to make us a sweet treat. I heard you really liked Krem brûlée, so I got us some." And there it was. Krem's brow twitched slightly in irritation, his eyes narrowing down at Quinn, who continued to look up at him with an easy smile. He couldn't really read if they'd meant to make a pun from his name, their face hadn't shifted from the same grin since they'd started talking to him, but somehow he had the niggling feeling that this was not the case.

"While that was kind of you, I'm going to have to say no thank you, Quinn." Krem said, his frown deepening somewhat as he turned away from the smaller person.

Quinn's features shifted into a slight pout and they sighed. "Awww, and here I was hoping I'd be able to convince you to have lunch with me. I also got some Krem cheese sandwiches for us."

Krem couldn't stop the pained noise that escaped his throat at that one, turning back to Quinn with an affronted look. Either they were being 100% serious, or they were making puns of his name. Krem honestly couldn't tell. They didn't make it as obvious as the Iron Bull would have, but the Tevene couldn't push away the feeling that they _knew_ what they were doing.

Krem grumbled as he shook his head again. "No, thank you, perhaps another time." Quinn shrugged lightly and pushed themselves off the post. "Alrighty, suit yourself. I'll make sure to ask Bull to give you some ice Krem, though; it's hot today." Krem bit the side of his cheek and watched them walk away-were they skipping?- before shaking his head and turning back to the practice dummy.

* * *

 

It was becoming too much!

For the past three weeks, no matter what Krem did, Quinn seemed insistent on getting a meal with him. It seemed that wherever he went, the other person would be there as well, asking him inane questions and slipping those damned puns between every few sentences. He'd seen Bull trying to hold in his laughter several times when the Qunari would pass by, but there was never any reaction from Quinn to show that they were in cahoots with one another.

Krem swore if he heard yet another stupid pun based on his name, he was going to-

"Damn Krem, you look like you just took a spoonful of sour Krem. Do you need some Krem soda to wash it away?"

That's it.

Standing on his chair in the tavern, Krem turned to look at Quinn, who had just settled in next to Rocky and Dalish. They grinned up at him as Krem made a couple of floundering gestures. "Will you stop!" He finally managed to snap out, his cheeks a flaming scarlet. He was sick and tired of the puns. He was going to get a straight answer out of Quinn today if it was the last thing he did.

"Stop what?" They were grinning like a  _fucking asshole_ , like they knew what they were doing. 

"The  _puns_!"

"What puns?"

"The puns with my _name_ , damn it!" Krem shouted, ignoring the stares the other patrons in the tavern. Quinn's slowly growing grin made the Teventer warrior want to wring their neck, though he held himself back. No need to start a brawl.

"Oh,  _those_ puns. Do you want me to stop using them?"

"Yes!"

"Aw, sorry Krem. If it bothers you that much I'll stop."

Krem blinked slightly in surprise, his mouth dropping open as he stared at the other person, completely shocked. Quinn seemed genuine, their wide grin having diminished slightly. Krem slumped back down into his chair as Quinn turned to Rocky and Dalish, both of whom had been watching the exchange with some amused shock. He opened his mouth, shut it, and repeated the action twice more before throwing his hands up in defeat. 

"After all, it's no fun when the Krem has curdled."

Krem threw his head back with a groan and Quinn apologised, promising that that pun was the last one. Everything settled back down and Quinn struck up and conversation with Rocky about explosions, cracking a couple jokes, but for the most part being serious about what the two of them were talking about. Krem relaxed somewhat and sighed, leaning back in his chair comfortably.

Suddenly the tavern door banged open and the Iron Bull walked in, giant shit eating grin on his face and Krem felt the pit of his stomach drop.

"Hey Krem de la Krem, I've got a new nickname for ya!"


	2. WHAT ARE THOSE?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The creature stepped forward from the flames, lips curled in a sneer, the Inquisitor before him. Aellanna got to her feet, clutching her side in pain as the mark flared fiercely on her palm. She watched the mutilated creature before her nearly slide sinisterly towards her, golden eyes darting several ways to look for an exit, before she caught sight of something that made her pause, her mouth falling open in utter shock.
> 
> [contains one of my Inquisitors [who is in a twin AU with one of my other inquisitors [Aellanna and Anghalard Lavellan]. Here are their pictures:  
> Aellanna: http://66.media.tumblr.com/d4b1913b00cfc9724298b467a2acd547/tumblr_o5kt4f42bm1u08rtzo7_540.png  
> Anghalard: http://66.media.tumblr.com/3a67fa757889ef1152c10e939f70a84d/tumblr_o6ch8hFYd11u08rtzo2_500.png ]

Fuck Anghalard.

Aellanna plowed towards the catapult, Cassandra, Vivienne and Varric hot on her heels as they helped her fight off Templars, determination lining their strides as they made their way to what would-hopefully-turn the tide against the Templars. The Elven woman continued to scream inwardly as she shot off spell after spell, trying to keep an eye out for her brother and feeling her stomach sink with the reminder that he was heading towards the other catapult with Dorian, Sera and The Iron Bull backing him up.

The first time they happened to be separated from one another in battle. It made Aellanna anxious, feeling as if she couldn't quite concentrate without Anghalard's presence beside her, watching her back while she watched his. She bit her lower lip, pulling up a quick barrier around Varric as yet another wave of Templars descended upon them. The dwarf gave her a grateful nod when she tossed him a potion, her attention falling back onto Cassandra.

They fought furiously; Vivienne using her knowledge of Knight Enchanter to slam several Templars away from the catapult forcefully so Aellanna could turn it further so it aimed towards the mountains. Her arms felt weak, shaking from the strenuous activity of cranking the lever to face the mountain. She breathed deeply, occasionally pausing to set up barriers around herself and her companions.

Fuck Anghalard and his stupid idea of coming to Haven to keep an eye on the damn Shem.

Finally, after what felt like hours, she finished aiming the catapult. Leaning heavily against the wooden contraption, Aellanna took several large breaths, turning to send her companions a thumbs up of achievement. They stood, at the ready, preparing for another wave of Templars. Standing there, Aellanna couldn't help but wonder how her brother fared, knowing that, if finished, his group would have returned to the Chantry to help evacuate any more refugees.

The sound of roaring fire pricked her ears. Aellanna snapped her head to the side, moving instinctively towards the others. "Move! Now!" She yelled, sprinting forwards as fast as she could, her heart leaping in her throat as heat and force pushed her forwards, forcing her to the ground in the wake of the large explosion from the fireball that had been heading their way. Her limbs screamed at her, the sound of crackling fire dimming as her ears rang.

Aellanna shut her eyes, trying to get herself back under control, forcing the panic rising within her back down. Opening her eyes once more, she slowly rose onto her arms, reaching up with her right to clutch her head. Her marked hand sputtered to life, light lurching from inside it and leaving a burning sensation running through Aellanna's palm. The exhilarating boost of Fade magic that followed nearly leaving her breathless. She wondered if Anghalard could feel the same in his.

Blinking blearily, Aellanna slowly got to her feet, her chest aching painfully. Wincing, the elven woman clutched at her side, looking up towards the direction of the flames at her side, and barely swallowed back a scream at the sight of it; she'd seen where it had stood far above Haven, but it's deformities were truly horrific up close. Red lyrium spread from it's back and around it's head, seemingly a protective shield as well as an area of power from which the creature could draw from. The so called 'Elder One' stood before her, hands like claws and lyrium like blood magic that left Aellanna's tongue coated in iron and her teeth clenched.

The creature stepped forward from the flames, lips curled in a sneer, the Inquisitor before him. Aellanna got to her feet, clutching her side in pain as the mark flared fiercely on her palm. She watched the mutilated creature before her nearly slide sinisterly towards her, golden eyes darting several ways to look for an exit, before she caught sight of something that made her pause, her mouth falling open in utter shock.

"What are _those_?!" She shrieked, pointing at the contraptions on it's feet. They seemed to be of a similar fashion to the shoes she'd seen the various Nobles of Orlais wear when visiting Haven over the past couple months. Why anyone would wear such awful and painful looking shoes, Aellanna couldn't understand, but she was doubly as confused with seeing this Elder One wearing them itself.

Its face twitched with irritation as it paused it's slow advance towards her, looking down at its feet irritably to see what the elven woman was pointing at. Seeing nothing but his rather impeccable footwear [if you asked him yourself], he turned his irritated gaze towards her. "What is  _what_ , mortal?" 

"Those, those  _things_ on your feet!" Aellanna exclaimed, unable to really realise that she was, apparently, now having an untimely conversation with a vengeful-apparently-god about footwear.

Corypheus sniffed disdainfully, turning his nose up at the much shorter woman before him, placing his clawed hands upon his red lyrium spattered sides. "I shall have you know that these are the height of footwear, past  _and_ present."

"Perhaps if you want to fall and break your ankle during a fight," Aellanna scoffed, straightening only slightly, feeling her ribs throb painfully in response. "What, you couldn't find any flats before you got here?"

"And spend unnecessary amounts of gold? Of course not!" Corypheus sniffed, his frown deepening into an impressive scowl. "Besides which, they are quite comfortable and give me an air of superiority, unlike  _you_."

Aellanna opened her mouth to rebuke him yet again, before a deafening roar came from behind her.

Literally,  _fuck_ Anghalard.


End file.
